Joy Feeling

     I had first met Cynthia a few weeks after she had lost a loved one to a sudden, accidental death.   Cynthia was feeling stuck in her grief, and asked for Esalen massage to help open the emotional body and move forward in her grieving process.   A year later, a mutual friend intervened and asked me to do a healing session for Cynthia, who had been paralyzed by depression since the first anniversary of the death.

    Cynthia and I talked for about an hour before her session.  She said that she had managed her grief by immersing herself in work to avoid feeling and thinking about it, but she could no longer keep it all buried. When the anniversary of the death came, she completely lost all will to live, and had been deeply depressed and non-functional since then, she had been unable to work or even to take care of any daily chores.  She then became even more depressed because she wasn't able to keep commitments to people.  Cynthia was ashamed of being out of integrity in that way, but she figured it didn't matter because she wouldn't be around much longer.  She said she felt like she will never feel okay again.

    When I asked her what her intention was for our session, she said: I want to feel like living again, and I want to be able to experience unexpected beauty in my life.

    I decided to do Esalen massage to help Cynthia feel loved and nurtured and connected, and Lightbody Infusion to help her get unstuck and clear the obstacles that prevented her from moving forward in her life.  We began face down, and I massaged her quietly, then rolled her over onto her back, and did a Lightbody Infusion treatment, followed by the rest of the massage session.  Cynthia had a lot of kundalini activity throughout the session, with vocalizations, all kinds of body movement, and spontaneous mudras.  Whatever will to live that remained in her was so powerful, her energy body was responding like mad to the work, it wanted to clear.  I extracted a lot of excess energy from Cynthia's belly and heart, and when I told her I was going to cleanse her throat, her neck extended to a seemingly impossible degree, to open the throat and enable the clearing.

    When we finished, Cynthia laid bundled up on the table for a long time, and when she came back, she said: I feel the possibility of having joy in my life again, you released whatever was blocking my joy feeling.  She came out of the massage room smiling, with light in her eyes and relief in her face.